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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989802">The Jews of Night Vale</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treon/pseuds/Treon'>Treon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Purim at Night Vale [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Welcome to Night Vale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:14:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treon/pseuds/Treon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Night Vale's Jewish history</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Purim at Night Vale [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Purimgifts 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Jews of Night Vale</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/elijah_was_a_prophet/gifts">elijah_was_a_prophet</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Welcome to Night Vale!</p>
<p>I've got to say, I'm sure these packages multiplied over the past day.  There are stacks and stacks all over the studio.  Each with shiny wrapping paper, and cute little bows.</p>
<p>And it turns out I'm not the only one getting surprise packages.  These cute little monsters are appearing all over town, handing out pure joy.  On the way to the studio today, I noticed several piles of packages around town.    </p>
<p>I had tried to give away some of these deliciously addictive cookies, but for some reason, every time I gave away a package, I ended up with two instead.  </p>
<p>So on to the news!</p>
<p>Our Evil Vizier was spotted walking down the street tonight.  He was followed by a gaggle of press-folk who took pictures of his every move.  He was seen eating a hamburger and flipping coins into the Night Vale Wishing Well, and mumbling something about Jews.  Nobody picked up what he was saying, but he's an Evil Vizier, so he's probably up to no good.</p>
<p>Our Jewish history is a long and illustrious one.</p>
<p>The Night Vale Yeshiva was founded shortly the town popped into existence.  It started off with ten students, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, who got lost on their way to River Dale .  Their building is situated in the center of town, and it's easy to spot, because there's always a little white cloud over it by day, and a little fiery cloud over it by night.  </p>
<p>According to the local lore, in 1974 they washed their hands before eating bread, and nobody has heard them say a word since.  Today, if you pass by there, you can hear a very loud hum.</p>
<p>More recently, many of you know Mr. Goldbaum and Mr. Goldstein.  They used to be good friends.</p>
<p>Every year they held the great Latkes vs. Hamentaschen debate.  Mr. Goldberg would traditionally claim that latkes were better, because of their crunchy exterior.  They also proved the world was a flat lump.</p>
<p>Mr. Goldstein, on the other hand, traditionally supported hamentaschen, because of their delicious interior.  Their triangular shape proved the world stood on three pillars.  And frankly, how can you blame him?</p>
<p>They would meet up every Saturday for a Shabbat kiddush.  That is, until the double kiddush debacle.  Mr. Goldbaum accused Mr. Goldstein of double kiddushing his wine.  Mr. Goldstein was rather shocked at such an accusation, and so he took his Manischewitz and promised he'll never step foot in Mr. Goldbaum's house ever again.</p>
<p>Hold on.. There's another knock on the door.  It would take me a few minutes to navigate the obstacles to the door.  Meanwhile, the Weather.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <iframe></iframe>
</p>
<p>Would you believe it?  We just got another package.  It was a little doctor, with its face all covered up by a cute little mask.  This package is so full of confetti!  And it's got a little basket inside, filled with lots of cookies and a bottle of wine.  I cannot stop eating those things!</p>
<p>In any case, after the big split between Baum and Stein, Mr. Goldbaum branched out and opened a new synagogue serving eastern Night Vale.          </p>
<p>In Sports, the Night Vale hockey team will be holding its first game tomorrow night.  They are sure that their aerodynamic, triangular puck will be superior to that of the rival team's.  Their only problem is that they keep on eating it.  We wish them the best of luck.</p>
<p>Finally, an announcement for all our Jewish listeners.  Both Mr. Goldbaum and Mr. Goldstein would like to invite everybody to a Megillah reading tonight at 8pm.  Bring any spare ears, eyes and wine.  </p>
<p>Good night, Night Vale.  Good night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Weather is "Purim Niggun"</p></blockquote></div></div>
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